Big Weekend, Big Realisation

it was one of those london moments you sometimes are lucky enough to find yourself having on the bus last night. cllr husband and i were off to the southwark playhouse to watch yet another prequel to the story of us when that almost out of body thing happened and i looked over at my husband and teared up. we were discussing the upcoming weekend's frivolities filled with super secret guest lists and muddy boots clinging to our mud stained cuffs for at least 10 of the next 48 hours. which stage would be when with who and why. words falling out of our mouths with the ease of familiarity and fact. we were just passing the big conference centre when hackney turns to tower hamlets (at least in my mind, if not actually geographically) where the 2012 training centre has been standing for so long i've quit paying it mind when i suddenly found myself watching this comfortable exchange between two people and thought, "wow. this is weird". here i was, in the middle of one of the world's megacities, discussing things my 14 year old self never would have thought within the realm of my possibles.

and so it is starting to seem with this climb up the mountain. i am not taking it for granted, nor am i really looking forward to getting the training up and going on the serious side. but this impossible possible is now becoming a reality. more and more people are donating money. people from across the globe who i have never met before are joining in this journey by reading these words and sending such beautiful messages of support that no artist could capture their power even having an eternity to try. as more and more people join this village it takes the challenge ahead and puts it into a better perspective in so many different ways. each word instils a confidence that seems to cause this mountain to shrink in her immensity. each kind gesture will give us the strength to climb just that bit further. in fact, i spent today doing my first physical work for this journey here at home climbing and descending a single flight of boring stairs for as long as i possibly could. and when i thought it was time to stop, my phone buzzed with the first donation from a stranger. from someone who i have never met face to face. and i then climbed some more. and then more.

and i will continue to climb, not just for the wonderful group of people who are supporting us, but also for my beautiful london. this fairytale life i find myself living is the product of many different systems exerting pressures and influences on my reality. so many that i have found it wise for my own sanity to not try and quantify them all. but one of those guiding hands i take solace in knowing well is buried deep within the DNA of this city: ordered chaos. of course only a oxymoronic force filled with yin and yang would be something i find as comforting and calming as a mother's love but that is just how i roll, i guess. the impossible possible effusing itself through my life in a way that i can only just comprehend if i take time to stop and smell the roses. to remember what rarified air one breathes in this congested city polluted with the dreams and passions of tomorrow.

and for her and all she has done for me, i will climb.