Team Me

fuck me. this is absolutely insane. i am sitting here, full of the remnants of the great labour campaign cold of 2012. now i never hit the streets, but damn that husband of mine for bringing back labour cooties. i guess the good thing is that it is getting my immune system ready for the onslaught of bacterium children always are. but here i am. nose blocked, throat burning, and all i can think about is that damn mountain.

how the hell am i going to do this? i am like a million stone overweight and we all know me and the physical activity are not all that close of buddies. but i guess that is what makes this journey all that more poignant. all that more personal.

it was odd hearing my name TWICE at speaker making. i had an inkling jess would give me a big up, but to hear susan's thanks was immensely moving. and then to hear jess say she was going to climb the mountain with me was just icing on the proverbial. along with her amazing news, she also helped me realise why i am doing this. speaking of the great transformation my hometown hackney is going through only spurred me on to transform myself through the road ahead of me.

i'll need to lose weight. i'll need to train my muscles. i'll need to train my mind to deal with the scary challenge in my path. but i will not be alone.

i will have my good friend jess at my side. i will have the people who have donated to this campaign cheering me on. positive east will sing my name. but the thing that i know scares me the most right now is that i am not ready to do this. there is a part of me that does not think i can do this. and even with all of those great people i have names, until i have myself on my own team this is going to scare me.

but that is the shape of this new universe. it is the colour of the great challenge ahead of not just me, but anyone who takes on any kind of mountain in their life. we all stare at the great height. we are humbled by the immensity.  but hope is what drives us to start walking up. hope is what keeps us all going when the road is at its longest and darkest. 

well at least it is for me.

so, lets summarise this:

• lose weight • get fit • raise money • believe in yourself

i'll keep you posted.

- mountain monkey